As always, this post will be exemplary in its objectivity. Every single slacker high-school male student manifests at least one of the following ten symptoms:
A very typical way of wearing his shirt
Outside classes, where they are required to wear it properly (except in tough neighbourhoods), brain-dead high-school students untuck it from their trousers, fold the sleeves, and unbutton the collar.
Grotesque trousers
If the uniform is still compulsory, there’s usually no mention regarding sizes. One major trend is for these kids to select the largest waist-length, and wear the trousers as low as ridicule with allow. One may encounter fellows wearing beautiful pink boxer shorts.
Kitsch belts
Of course, to hold this potato sack, you absolutely need a big black leather belt, studded, if possible. And who cares if everyone has the same belt? Let’s mention also that the only requirement is that the belt must be black.
A gigantic sports bag
Many of them are interested in school solely for their sports activities. What’s required for these is a macho/nihilistic attitude, and a bag in which you could store a mammoth. And remember to dump it in the most inconvenient places – for other people – in public transportation : aisles, exits (unless they’ve already been invaded by female students), or poking in your ribs if you’re seated next to them.
A very intellectual haircut
It’s hard to find a common denominator here, because trends tend to change every year, determined by the latest trendy singer. There are still a few characteristics that don’t seem to vary much as time goes: long dyed hair, messy hair-do – but not too messy. Recently I had a hoot with a dude who looked like a blond Sonic (although the blue hedgehog hairdo was of a lesser volume).
Very flexible legs
Looking at the guys seating, slouching on seats with legs spread out so much, one has to wonder whether we are witnessing a contest of some sort, trying to outdo every other contestant in the surface they can occupy with their legs. Mind, they must be subject to cramps too, seeing how they will never move a single toe when someone sits next to them.
Dedicated tools
A mobile phone on which they play pachinko or mahjong, in which case it’s hard to differentiate them from salarymen. A PSP on which all of them (and I really mean all of them) play Monster Hunter.
A very refined vocabulary
High-schools students live in a perpetual state of incomprehension, which seems to suck out all their vital energy, as one can witness, when listening to them: “I dunno” (when someone asks them a question); “I don’t understand” (when they don’t agree with something); “fucking boring” (when talking about school). That’s about it. When a high-school student doesn’t speak, he looks like a cooked vegetable. If you have to choose between a metro car full of high-school girls and one full of high-school boys, go for the first if you want to sit, and the latter if you want quiet.
The feeling that everything they do is exhausting
This affects their language but also their attitude. A student who stands up straight probably belongs to the clan of suck-ups. A real high-school boy looks permanently in the middle of an agony, with zombie-grade rings below their eyes, inert arms, a seemingly broken neck and sighs in lieu of breaths.
A fascination for their hairdos
Foreign visitors will probably remark with surprise that they definitely lack machismo in this respect. These acne-ridden youngsters must have, despite what I said above, strong arms: the frequency with which they pass their hands through their hair, fixing them, has to count for something.
translated from Dix particularités qui caractérisent un lycéen japonais
